


Find Me in the Forest

by Wordsintothevoid



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, College, Dipper Pines-centric, Family Bonding, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nightmares, Older Dipper Pines and Mabel Pines, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Pines Family, This Author Loves Ford Pines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23887255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wordsintothevoid/pseuds/Wordsintothevoid
Summary: Dipper is eighteen and decides to go to college. Mabel is doing a service trip and so he's alone for the first time. Unfortunately, Bill Cipher has survived and decides to make some trouble for his favorite Pine Tree.
Relationships: Bill Cipher/Dipper Pines
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	1. Moving In

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! I haven't written in a LONG time and this is my first venture back out into fandom. I'm not entirely sure where this story is going; I'm writing it because quarantine has ruined my creativity for original content and I'd forgotten just how fun it is to write fanfic. Hope this story brings some joy in rough times.
> 
> Be aware that this deals heavily with Dipper's trauma from the series and while I'll try to keep this from getting too bleak, I don't want anyone to get triggered. Please be aware and I'll post warnings for each chapter if things get rough. <3

Somewhere deep in a forest, Bill Cipher awakens. He stretches— once again, infuriatingly without a physical form— and looks around. Lush, mature trees stand all around him. It’s late summer. He’s still on Earth, still in Oregon.

Triumph rises within him and he strips all the bark from a tree to form the word “HA!” in the air. Did that Pines family think they could destroy him forever? Arrogant humans to pretend they could erase him with a silly mortal gun. 

He uses the bark to build a cage around three chipmunks scampering around on the forest floor. Penned in like that, they’ll slowly starve. He cackles and rises to enact his revenge.

He finds Gravity Falls looking just how he left it, or rather, how it was before he had his fun with it. Buildings folksy, shops comfortable, people calm and happy. It’s sickening.

The Mystery Shack has a steady flow of customers in and out. He finds the house still warded against him and he chokes down his rage. Patience, he tells himself. You were patient for centuries.

Bill can see the one who looks like an overgrown grub wearing a question mark t-shirt manning the register. Stanley Pines is bargaining with a suspicious looking woman about the price of a fake mermaid scale. He waits and Stanford enters, simply handing the woman the scale. She leaves and Stanley turns to his brother, looking irate. Both accounted for.

Bill watches all day, peering in through the windows. As dusk settles, he’s certain.

_ Pine Tree’s not here. _

Dipper Pines awakens in a cold sweat, panting. A scream is clawing its way out his throat and his hands clutch at the bedcovers, searching for something to defend himself with.

But his heart slows as he sees he’s at home, in his own bedroom, in California. Mabel’s old Sev’ral Timez posters hang on her side and his dirty laundry is piled on a chair. 

A Bill nightmare. He hasn’t had one of those in  _ years _ , but it was exactly the same as he remembered. The feeling of being possessed, unable to control his own body mingled with the terror of being chased while Ford and Stan watched helplessly from their cage.

Bill’s gone, he tells himself. Everyone is safe. It’s been five years. He’s almost eighteen now. Graduated high school this spring. But he still feels twelve again, helpless and weak, as a demon tortures his family.

“Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey!” Mabel calls up the stairs.

He checks the clock and sees that it’s seven am. He jumps out of bed and climbs down the ladder. He still sleeps in the top bunk of the bunk bed he’s always shared with Mabel. Pulling on jeans and a dark blue t-shirt, he cringes at the memory of his old puffer vest and white athletic socks. No more middle school fashion. Two more weeks and he’ll be an adult. But he still slips on his pine tree hat.

He pads downstairs to see Mabel dishing up eggs. She hands him a plate.

Dipper takes an enormous bite and sits down at the table. “These are really good.”

“Duh. I made them.” Mabel swishes her long hair out of her face. “It’s Moving Day!”

He blinks in surprise. He checks his phone and sees she’s right. August 17th. 4 days before his first day of college.

“Eat up and we’ll load the boxes in the car. Mom and Dad are still asleep but they’ll want to wish you off.”

The bacon sits heavy in his stomach, the combination of terror and excitement making his hands sweat.

“You’re worrying again,” Mabel says, flipping bacon. “Told you to stop doing that.”

He fights a smile at how well she knows him. “Mabel, it’s not like I can just be completely calm while facing the next stage of my life. College is a huge deal!”

“You fought an evil demon from another dimension and won. I”m sure you can handle freshman year.”

He tries to make himself believe that,  _ really _ believe that. He had nightmares until he was fifteen, crossed out triangles in his math books, fought panic attacks until Mabel finally convinced his parents to get him medication. 

But he did it.  _ Really  _ did it. He survived.

“Are you really sure you’ll be okay on your own?” Dipper asks.

Mabel isn’t going to college this semester. She decided she wanted to join a service trip. She’ll be in Guatemala this fall, helping to build a school and improve people’s lives.

She clicks the stove off and loads a plate for herself. “I still feel like I need time to figure out what I want and I don’t want to rush into things.” 

She sits down facing him. “I almost ended the world because I couldn’t handle us going in different directions. I love being a twin but I need to just be Mabel for a while instead of Dipper and Mabel.”

He feels a pang of loss, but he takes the time to really look at his sister. She’s wearing a t-shirt she decorated herself that says “Gnomes Love Me” with a floor length pink floral skirt. She still wears a bracelet of unicorn hair, and a seashell necklace from Mermando. Still quirky Mabel but he sees more confidence in her. She looks secure, happy.

Dipper nods. “Yeah, of course. We’re both going to be fine.”

They finish eating and Mabel makes stupid jokes while they clean up, leaving plates of food in the fridge for their parents.

It takes them half an hour to load boxes into both Dipper’s car and their family car. Mabel’s already sold hers in preparation for her trip. His dorm room is already furnished so he’s only packed clothes and toiletries. 

He still has Ford’s third journal; he writes in it about any strange things he sees in Piedmont. He also has his own journal, with a pine tree on the cover. Mabel made it and gave it to him on their fifteenth birthday.

Once everything is loaded, they wake up their parents. Their mother cries and takes pictures and then Dipper climbs into his piece-of-crap car. His school is two hours away and Mabel follows in the family car. There was no  _ real _ reason for her to come; his stuff would have fit in his car alone. But they both knew there was no way she would let him do this alone.

Dipper flips on the radio and tries to calm his nerves. He did his research on this school and got in easily with his 4.0 GPA. He hasn’t declared his major yet because he still has no idea. Ford wants him to major in science and anomalies like he did, but Stan doesn’t understand why Dipper’s going to college in the first place.

“Spend lots of money to get a degree so you can get stuck in a different dimension for decades,” he grumbled.

But then he’d seen Dipper’s face and softened. “Study whatever you want, kid. Just don’t forget about your family.”

And Dipper had promised.

When they arrive on campus, they wind through the maze of buildings until they see banners for Freshman Orientation. He has to force himself out of the car and Mabel practically drags him to Check-In. They hand him a folder labeled Pines, Mason and directions to his dorm.

He and Mabel unpack for about two hours, arranging all his stuff just right. By the time they’re finished, Mabel’s hair is stuck to her forehead and Dipper’s back aches from carrying boxes.

“LUNCHTIME!” Mabel cries and they make their way to the campus cafe for food and a well-deserved break. They find a table with a good view and some shade and watch the new students trickle in.

Dipper’s finished with his sandwich and about to open a bag of chips when Mabel pokes him in the ribs. “Go talk to that guy!”

The guy he’s pointing at has brownish-black hair and a slim build. He’s standing in the A-J section of the line, surveying his surroundings.

Dipper frowns. “Why? Do you know him?”

“No, but he reminds me of you. He looks like he understands.”

He looks at her in surprise. Over the years, when they both had panic attacks and flinched often, Mabel complained no one besides their Grunkles understood. Teachers thought they had been abused; their parents dismissed it as teenage angst. No one really got it.

Dipper takes a closer look at the guy in line and sees that Mabel’s right. This guy looks like he’s endured fear and pain but here he is, smiling and joking around with the people around him.

“Talk to him. His heart is pure,” Mabel says in a mystical tone.

He swats at her. “You know all that unicorn stuff was garbage. You can’t actually tell if someone’s heart is pure with that bracelet.”

“You need friends, dweeb.”

“Alright, alright!” Dipper puts his hands up and swings his legs over the edge of the bench. He waits until the guy gets his packet and steps out of line and goes to talk to him, heart pounding.

“Hey. What’s your name?” he asks, sticking out his hand.

The guy shifts his folder to his other hand and shakes Dipper’s hand firmly. “I’m Milo. Milo Armstrong. And you are?”

“Dipper Pines.”

The conversation lags and Dipper reminds himself frantically to keep talking. “Your first year here?”

Dipper wants to shake himself. Of course Milo’s a freshman; he’s standing in the Freshman Orientation line.

Milo grins. “Is it that obvious? I must look like the Midwestern hick out here in California.”

“No, not at all,” Dipper laughs. “I’m new, too. From Piedmont, California.”

“Nice. You eighteen?”

“Yup. Well, almost. Two more weeks.”

Milo nods. “I’m nineteen. Took a gap year. Felt like I had some business to take care of at home.

“My girlfriend did, too.” He catches the eye of a blond girl waiting in a different line and blows her an exaggerated kiss.

She just rolls her eyes.

Milo grins and turns back to Dipper and Dipper knows he’s just made a new friend.

He asks and finds out Milo’s dorm isn’t too far from his.

“I’m going to have a game night at my dorm tomorrow night at seven, after everyone gets settled. Do you want to come?” Milo asks.

Dipper blinks. “Uh, yeah, of course. Thanks!”

Milo’s girlfriend joins them, slipping her hand into his. She has a stocky, muscular build with shoulder-length hair blond hair. She eyes Dipper with a hint of suspicion but there’s kindness in her face.

“I’m Larkin Sloan,” she says, extending a hand for him to shake.

“Larkin, this is—” Milo turns to him. “Dipper, right?”

He can feel himself blushing. He glances over at Mabel. She stifles a giggle and goes back to munching on his bag of chips and sketching.

“It’s a nickname,” he mumbles.

Milo nods and his eyes hold an apology. “Right, of course. I invited him to come to our party tomorrow,” he says to Larkin.

She smiles and it transforms her face from closed-off to radiant. “Awesome.”

Mabel is miming growing a long beard, their family signal for if someone is taking too long, so Dipper says goodbye and rejoins his sister.

“See? They were perfect! Mabel instincts for the win!”

“Okay, okay, don’t rub it in.”

They clean up lunch and then wander the campus, exploring. They find Dipper’s classes and Mabel insists on getting a picture of him in front of each classroom, “for the memories!” But by mid-afternoon, they both know it’s time.

He walks her back to her car and tells himself not to cry. He can see her in a few months at Christmas. It’ll be  _ fine _ , but he’s biting his lip when they reach the parking lot.

Mabel throws her arms around him, and he hugs her back just as tightly.

“I’ll miss you,” she says, her voice muffled against his shoulder.

“I’ll miss you, too. Promise you won’t do anything stupid like try to befriend a chupacabra or something.”

She pulls away and swats him on the shoulder. “And you promise you’ll actually talk to people and not hide away in your room.”

He rolls his eyes in mock annoyance. “If I must.”

“I love you,” he says, just so she won’t forget.

“I love you, too.”

They hug one more time and she starts to walk to her car when Dipper remembers.

“Mabel, wait!”

He poses in front of the university sign and Mabel snaps a picture. She sends it to their group chat with Stan and Ford.

And then she’s gone and Dipper watches her car grow smaller and smaller until she rounds the curve and is lost from view.

He’s alone at college, without his twin sister for the first time in his life.


	2. A Sighting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our boy is having nightmares and can't tell what's real. Fortunately, the Pines family is behind him all the way.

The first night is rough. The campus that felt open and friendly during the day becomes vast, sinister, and lonely. In his tiny dorm, he scrolls through social media, trying to distract himself. He’s (almost) an adult now. He can handle being away from his family.

At eight o’clock, he breaks down and calls his Grunkles. Ford answers the phone.

“Hello, Dipper!”

At the sound of his voice, Dipper can feel his shoulders relax. “Hey, Grunkle Ford.”

“Congratulations on your first day of school!”

Dipper doesn’t respond. He looks around at the plain white walls and tiny twin bed he hasn’t put sheets on yet.

“Dipper, is everything okay?”

“I’m… I’m having a rough time.”

Ford’s voice softens. “Would you like to talk about it? I can be an excellent listener.”

He sighs. “I miss you guys. I miss the Mystery Shack and Mabel. I won’t get to see her again until Christmas.” To his horror, he finds himself tearing up.

“Sit tight, Dipper. This is a two Grunkle situation.”

Dipper hears rustling and the faint sound of Ford yelling “Stanley!” He can’t help but smile as he scrubs away a tear, clutching his phone.

“What’s all the boohooing about, kid?”

A faint whack. Ford’s voice. “Stanley!”

“Sorry,” Stan grumbles. “We, uh, we miss you too, kid. You know you’re always welcome here if you want to bail on the whole thing.”

Dipper smiles. “I’ve already paid my tuition for the semester, Stan. I just got lonely for a minute.”  
“Are you sure you’re okay, Dipper?” Ford asks.

He imagines them both huddled around the table with the phone on speaker. He takes a deep breath and glances out at the window across the campus green. “Yeah, I think so. I just wanted—”

He catches a glimpse of Bill, fifty feet away, floating above the grass outside. He yells and drops the phone. He’s off the bed and across the room, pressing his nose against the glass.

Bill is gone. No trace of him.

Mind whirling, Dipper sits back down. He picks his phone up off the floor and puts it to his ear.

Stan and Ford are both yelling. “Dipper, are you okay?”

He thinks quickly. He’s had flashbacks before. Could he just have imagined Bill with all the stress of today? If his PTSD is just acting up, he can’t worry his Grunkles with a false alarm.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Uh, a poster just fell down and scared me. Sorry.”

“Hot Belgium waffles, kid! I’m too old for this.”

“Sorry, Stan. I just wanted to call and hear your guys’ voices.”

“I’ve got Soos calling me about something so I gotta go. Stay safe, kid. No kegstands or hooking up with girls.”

“Stan!”

Ford laughs. “Wise words from someone who didn’t even go to college.” His tone changes suddenly. “Stan’s gone now, Dipper. You saw Bill, didn’t you?”

Dipper almost drops the phone again in surprise. “I-I… Yeah, I did.”

“I see him too, sometimes.” Ford sounds weary. “We’ve both been possesed by him. That takes a toll.”

“Yeah,” Dipper agrees shakily. “I  _ hate _ this, hate that it’s been years and sometimes I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not. I don’t want to feel afraid all the time.”

“I’m so sorry,” Ford sighs. “My actions allowed him to hurt you. I can’t make that up to you.”

Dipper swallows. Ford is right, but Dipper knows just how heavy and suffocating guilt can be. “It’s okay. He lied to you. He’s a master at getting what he wants. I don’t blame you, Ford.”  
There’s silence on the line for a long moment.

“Thank you, Dipper.” Ford’s voice trembles just a little.

“It hasn’t been all bad today,” Dipper says, trying to sound cheerful. “I met some cool people and the campus is beautiful. Mabel took lots of pictures and sent them to you guys.”

“That’s great,” Ford says brightly. “I’ll make sure to show Stanley.”

A pause. 

“Dipper, are you really okay? Because there’s really no shame in coming home or going to a show closer to home—”

Dipper cuts him off. “I can do this. I picked this school and I know everything will be fine. I just got a bit lonely.”

Another pause. Dipper can almost  _ hear _ Ford thinking, determining if Dipper is really telling the truth.

“Okay,” Ford says finally. “Just remember that your Grunkles love you and please call if you need anything. I mean that. There’s enough of my old junk lying around here to fix almost any problem.”

Dipper swallows hard, blinking quickly. “Yeah, of course. Thanks. I love you too.”

“Good night, Dipper.”

“Night, Ford.”

Dipper hangs up. His family loves him. He can do this.

He brushes his teeth and slips on an old t-shirt and boxes and tucks himself into bed. He lies awake for a long time, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling.

He’s in a forest. Thick trunks surround him, the leaves overhead so dense that the light is dim and green. He’s walking slowly, picking his way over the soft forest floor, stepping over fallen logs and mossy stones.

He’s looking for something and the need to find it pushes him onward, deeper into the forest. But it’s utterly silent. No bird calls, no crickets. The only sound is the occasional rustling of leaves.

“HEY PINE TREE, DID YOU MISS ME?”

In an instant, he’s on the ground, eyes scraping over the landscape for cover.

Bill floats into view and Dipper finds himself ten feet in the air, hands manacled behind his back. He summons all his courage to glare at his attacker. “What do you want, Corn Chip?”

Bill looks hurt. “I missed you, Pine Tree. Five years is an awfully long time. Look how much you’ve grown!” He flutters his eyelashes.

Dipper swallows hard, terror choking him.

Bill slides closer. “I missed you ever so much. Let me have your body again and we can hang out all the time.”

“Never,” he grinds out. “I’ll die first.”

Bill looks amused. “I’ll doubt it’ll come to that. Self-preservation is  _ awfully _ strong in mortals and I happen to know you care about your family. We could ask Shooting Star what she thinks about this or maybe the Stans?”

“Don’t touch them!” He yells, panic rising. He’ll die before he’ll let Bill hurt Mabel or his Grunkles.

Bill raises his hands. “No need to get testy, Pine Tree. I’d rather keep this on good terms. What do you say?” He extends a hand. “Let me in?”

_ BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. _

Dipper opens his eyes, heart pounding. He fumbles with his phone to shut off the alarm, and collapses on the bed, panting. Just a dream, he reminds himself. But that didn’t feel like a dream. That felt  _ real _ , like Bill actually visited his dream.

Bill’s gone. He brushes his teeth, repeating it to himself. It’s just a dream. Starting college is just stressful and brought up all the old memories. His hands shake as he lathers up his face to shave. Two nightmares in two days, plus seeing Bill last night.

Today is Friday, August eighteenth, only three days before the first day of class. Milo’s party is tonight. The what-ifs crowd his head.  _ What if no one likes me? What if I flunk all my classes? What if I flunk all my classes? _

His phone buzzes. He opens a text message from Mabel, a GIF proclaiming “Good morning!” while throwing virtual glitter all over his screen.

DIPPER: Good morning to you too. Are you packed yet?

MABEL: not yet but i still have all day

MABEL: you survived your first night!

Dipper shakes his head. She’s leaving tomorrow on a seven am flight and she probably only has one pair of socks in an empty suitcase.

He almost starts to tell her about his nightmares but he hesitates. Does he really want to worry her right before she leaves? There’s nothing she could do about it.

But he and Mabel have been always been there for each other. She used to fake their mom’s handwriting when either of them had had a rough night. They’d skip school and eat lunch at a park. He helped her make posters to ask guys to dances and when she’d broken her arm falling out an apple tree, he’d braided her hair for weeks until she got her cast off.

This is  _ Mabel _ . If he can’t trust her, he can’t trust anyone.

DIPPER: I’ve been having Bill nightmares.

MABEL: how long, how bad?

DIPPER: Last two nights. Awful. It feels like he’s back. Last night felt real.

She doesn’t respond and Dipper runs a brush through his hair and brushes his teeth, checking every other minute for her reply.

MABEL: what do you want to do?

He sighs, sinking onto his bed. He knows his family loves him and they’ll support him, no matter what. But his Grunkles’ words keep ringing in his head. They don’t think he can do this. They’re waiting for him to give up and come back to live in Gravity Falls.

Of course he wants to live with them, especially because they’re getting on in years. Gravity Falls is his home. But he won’t go back for good until he has his degree. He has to do this.

No more doubting or panicking. No more worried texts or phone calls. He has to handle his own problems now.

DIPPER: Nothing. I can handle it. Have so much fun in Guatemala.

MABEL: are you sure? you could talk to stan and ford about it. if he’s coming back, they should know.

DIPPER: I already did. He’s not coming back; I’m just overreacting.

Another pause. He straightens up his room, unpacks a few more things until his phone buzzes again.

MABEL: okay. srsly let me know if you need me. service will be spotty but i’ll try.

DIPPER: Sounds good. Don’t worry about me. We’ll talk when you can.


	3. New Friends

The rest of the day is pretty mundane. He puts his room in order, finishing up unpacking. By the time he’s finished, it’s about noon. Looking around, he feels a swell of pleasure and pride. Bed neatly made with a dark blue comforter, his books arranged on his shelves, clothes hung up or in drawers, window open to let in a warm breeze. This will be his space for the next four years and he’s honestly excited.

He gets lunch at the same cafe on campus and watches people, trying to catch the eye of any cute girls. He didn’t have a girlfriend in high school and he was never quite sure why. Maybe it was the air of weirdness that he could never quite shake. Anyone he dated would have had to be okay with alternate dimensions, demons, and killer gnomes so all his relationships stayed casual. He’d talk to girls, go out on double dates with Mabel, but there was never any second dates.

He and Wendy drifted away after she graduated and started college. She’s in in her third year now at a wilderness survival school a few states away. Of course she’s still a badass, mostly teaching the classes and getting paid for it. They still talk but the last he heard from her, she was dating a guy at school. Dipper was hurt but he figured that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be and there’s no use forcing anything, especially when it’d have to be long distance.

He finishes his food, then goes over to the student store to grab of bag of chips and a two liter of soda to bring to Milo’s party. He also applied for a job about a month before this so he picks up his uniform and name tag for the campus store. Three days a week, he’ll be stocking and running the register. It’s not glamorous work but he has lots of practice from the Mystery Shack and it’ll help pay for his books and meals. O, the plight of the broke college student.

He spends the rest of the afternoon finishing up the reading for his clases. Feels a bit unfair to have required reading due before the class even starts but there’s no way he’ll risk failing a class he’l paying for, or rather, that his family is paying for.

Dipper and Mabel have never been poor but they’ve never been exactly rich. Last fall, when Dipper was submitting college applications, he was stressing about how to pay for everything. He had some savings from an after-school job he’d had since sophomore year and he could get some scholarships. But he was still coming up short.

He happened to mention it when he and Mabel went to Gravity Falls for Christmas break. Stan had listened and asked a few questions and then Mabel had burst in wanting to go caroling. Dipper had forgotten all about it until it was time to leave. He was packing in the attic when Stan came in.

“Hey Stan, what’s up?” Dipper asked, folding shirts to squeeze into his tiny suitcase.

“You mentioned you’re worried about paying for college, right?”

Dipper frowned at the reminder. “Yeah, I applied just in case. But the school I want is pretty expensive so I might have to take a gap year to earn more money.”

Stan looks flustered. “Don’t do that. I, uh, I talked to Sixer and you know, the Mystery Shack does pretty well and gold brings a good price these days and I had some savings…”

Dipper stared at him. “Grunkle Stan, what are you saying?”

Stan scratched his head nervously. “I’m saying that Ford and I are paying for your college, okay? Belgium waffles, kid, you gotta make it all awkward.”

Dipper hugged his Grunkle impulsively even as Stan protested “That’s-that’s incredible! I can pay you back after I graduate.”

Stan waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Just use it well. You’re going to do great things, Dipper.”

Shaking himself out of the memory, Dipper sticks a pen cap in his teeth and stands taking notes. No way is he going to let his family down.

At six-thirty, he looks up and yelps. He brushes his teeth and hair and throws on a clean shirt. Time to impress.

At exactly seven pm, he knocks on what he deeply hopes is Milo’s door, with his snacks in tow.

Milo opens the door, grinning. “Hey, Dipper! Come on in!”

He steps over the threshold and notices it’s bigger than his. There’s a small sitting room and a little kitchenette. On the table is a stack of board games and snacks. He notices bags of chips, a veggie plate with dip, and two packs of Oreos. Dipper sets down the food and sits on the couch, feeling simultaneously relaxed and awkward.

Milo plops down next to him and checks his phone. “Looks like Larkin’s running late. She’ll be here in a few minutes.”

There’s silence for a minute and Dipper scrambles to make conversation. “How long have you two been together?”

“About a year. Since last September.”

“How did you meet?”

“We’d known each other for forever. Our parents were friends.”

Dipper nods. Then there’s a knock at the door and Milo jumps up to answer it. Larkin enters and kisses Milo’s cheek.

She sprawls out on the couch, wearing black jeans and a black sweater over a white button up. “Glad you could make it, Dipper. Some of our other friends should be here soon.”

“So I hear you guys took a gap year. Do anything cool?” Dipper asks.

Milo and Larkin exchange glances. Larkin answers. “Not really. We got involved in community service and helped to clean up our city. Worked with the mayor and the courts and everything.”

Milo snickers, throwing a pillow at Larkin. She shoves it away, looking playfully reprimanding. “Don’t be so flippant,” she says.

Dipper frowns. What are these two talking about?

Milo shrugs. “L, we can either laugh about it or cry about it and it  _ does _ sound pretty funny when you put it that way.”

They stare at each other with matching expressions of grief and adoration and Dipper looks back and forth. They seem to have forgotten he’s there.

“What are you guys talking about?”

Milo blinks and turns to his girlfriend. “L?”

She nods, turning to Dipper. “Dipper, you seem like you’ve been through a lot. I think we can trust you with our story.”

Dipper bites his lip. “Um, I guess you could say that.”

Larkin continues. “My dad was a crime lord in our city and I was running the operation. My mother gave Milo a ring which gave him the power to stop time because she figured she could use him to compete with my father’s empire.

“Milo accidently killed my father in a scuffle.” She pauses and there’s silence for a second as she clenches her hands into fists and looks away.

Milo just watches her and Dipper sees pain so deep it startles him.

“Milo and I realized we needed to join forces to stop my mother. I wanted power just in my city. She was planning world domination. Fortunately, we make a pretty great team,” she says, looking at her boyfriend. 

“Long story short, we took down my mother and my crimes were exposed in the process. The court decided that my late father was mostly responsible and I could make amends through community service. I got to keep some of the money from my parents’ empires because I helped stop them. So that’s our college money. All that didn’t leave time for applying for school so we decided we’d go when we were nineteen.”

Dipper laughs nervously. “If you’re telling the truth, you guys might be the only people in the world who are just as crazy as my family.”

Milo waves a hand. “If we’re all sharing, go ahead. I’d love to hear about someone whose life is just as weird as mine.”

So Dipper tells them about a town full of weirdness, and a great-uncle who came out of another dimension, and a triangle demon with one eye who held them all captive. They gasp and laugh at the right moments and ask questions that Dipper does his best to answer.

Larkin nods incredulously. “That’s insane. Good for you. I grew up learning to kill people in middle school.  _ You _ saved your whole town.”

Dipper shrugs, pretending to be modest. “What can I say? Middle school is a weird time.”

They all laugh. 

They pour drinks of rootbeer because Dipper promised Ford he wouldn’t drink underage (Stan didn’t understand; “You’re only young once!”). Snacks get passed around and they crack open Monopoly. Milo’s winning when Dipper remembers something.

“You guys said you had other friends coming. Where are they?”

Larkin sighs. “We don’t  _ have _ other friends. We’re in a new state and don’t know anybody and I still have to check in with a police officer once a week to make sure I’m not going on a murder spree. Milo thought you seemed like you’d understand so he figured that if we said other people were coming, you’d come. Sorry about that.” She glares at Milo.

Milo grimaces. “I’m awkward and definitely didn’t want to dump my tragic backstory on you on the first meeting. I shouldn’t have lied. Sorry.”

Dipper nods. “No, it’s fine. I get it. As long as you guys are fine with me being a third wheel…”

Everyone laughs and Dipper eventually manages to pull off an underdog victory at Monopoly that only takes another hour to complete.

Dipper checks the time and sees that it’s eleven o’clock. “Sorry, guys, I gotta go. But thanks for inviting me.”

He helps them clean up and then hugs them both goodbye, feeling like he’s known these people all his life.

“Stay safe,” Larkin says, looking at him earnestly.

“And let us know if you need anything,” Milo adds. “The damaged kids gotta look out for each other.”

Dipper smiles. “Yeah, of course. Good night.”

He walks back to his dorm, still smiling. It feels good to have other people who know his big secret. Their lives are just as crazy and Dipper’s still freaked out by Larkin’s apparently murderous past but it feels like she’s a good person underneath.

He strips off his shirt when he gets in and falls asleep in his boxes without even brushing his teeth. For once, he falls asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a novel going with Milo and Larkin and they're my own original characters. I apologize if they sometimes sidetrack the story. I just figured that with their past, they would understand Dipper's pain. Don't worry, this is still a Gravity Falls fic. Dipper just has a few more people on his side.


	4. First Day of Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first day of classes does not go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whAT'S UP Y'ALL? wHO'S READY FOR SOME TrAuMa?
> 
> Sorry this is so short but I figured some content is better than none.

The next few days are uneventful. No more nightmares. He spends his time working at the campus store and prepping for classes. He’s been avoiding Milo and Larkin. They seem friendly, sure, and Dipper was lonely enough to hear them out. But his weird childhood involved lake monsters and gnomes. Their childhoods apparently revolved around literal murder and gang politics. He’d rather be without friends than get pulled into that kind of trouble.

Monday morning, his alarm goes off and he jumps out of bed, ready to conquer his classes. Mabel left for her trip on Sunday night and he has to keep reminding himself that she’ll call when she can. He throws on some clothes, scarfs down a quick bowl of cereal, and then he’s shouldering his backpack and crossing the campus, heading to English 1010.

People stream in all directions, laughing and talking. The rising sun spills across the grass, turning everything golden. Even in the early morning, it’s perfect weather. Dipper breaths in deep, letting go off terror and worries. He made it.

Until he catches his foot on a piece of concrete and stumbles into someone. Dipper pulls himself upright, already apologizing, but his words die away when he sees the guy’s yellow, slit-pupiled eyes.

Dipper blinks and it’s gone. The guy pushes past him, muttering about freshman who can’t watch where they’re going.

Dipper feels rooted to the ground, breath stalling in his lungs. He pinches himself hard, trying to ground himself. Is he awake? Is this real or another nightmare?  
He glances at his watch and sees that he has three minutes to get to class. He forces down the paranoia and hustles into the building to find a seat.

The class drags on and Dipper alternates between taking scattered, incoherent notes and throwing wild glances at everyone, checking their eyes. It could be anyone. Any person around him could have made a deal and Bill could be watching him though their eyes.

But what if he imagined it? He saw Bill earlier, on the phone with his Grunkles. Stress and PTSD might truly explain these hallucinations.

He feels like he’s going to pieces, hands shaking, voice muted. English ends and he somehow manages to make it to his other two classes without hearing a word of the lectures.  
He eats something for lunch without tasting it and spends the rest of the afternoon and evening scribbling in his journal everything he knows about Bill, everything that’s ever been helpful in defeating him. He has to be _prepared_. If this is real, there’ll be a fight and he has to be ready.

He works for hours. Tries to go to sleep. Fails. Picks up some cold medicine at the store, takes some, and works until the drugs kick in. He passes out sometime around two am.

He’s in the forest again, dim light illuminating moss and ancient trees. He’s running this time, lungs aching, feet pounding. There’s something behind him. He feels hands reaching for him and he wills his legs to pump faster, leaping over stumps and fallen trees. 

He hits a wall. He goes sprawling, breathless and stunned on the ground. There’s nothing there. But when he reaches up, his hand finds an invisible barrier. His panic ratchets up and he beats against the wall. No way out.

“Won’t you come talk to me? This is rude, you know.” 

Bill drifts into view, looking annoyed. “Honestly, Pine Tree, how long do you want to keep doing this?”

Dipper scrambles for a rock, a stick, anything to throw, but the ground is clear. He curls his hands into fists and forces himself to stand.

“Leave. Me. Alone.”

Bill rolls his eye. “Apparently we’re still in the enemies stage. You’re cute when you’re angry.”

Dipper bites his lip. Could he dodge past Bill, double back the way he came? Bill might be faster… 

“See? Like I said. The thinking face plus the lip bite. And the fear is a nice touch, too.”

Dipper blinks. Is he… flirting? Terror ratchets up another notch. _Escape, escape, escape._

Bill snaps his fingers and Dipper’s in the air, eye level with Bill, hands cuffed behind his back. “Much better. Now, Pine Tree, tell me about college. What do you think?

 _This isn’t just a dream. Bill is_ here _. In my dream._

Dipper’s on the edge of shattering. No weapons, no way out. “Please,” he chokes out. “Please, just let me go.”

Bill leans in close. “Silly Pine Tree. Remember, pain is amusing.”

Dipper wakes up screaming, drenched in sweat. He checks his clock and sees that it’s four am. He sits up in bed, shaking, mouth dry for long minutes, trying to piece together his sanity.

Bill is back, that’s for certain. Somehow he survived and his influence is leaking into reality.

What if he used McGucket’s memory gun on himself? No, Bill would be even more dangerous if Dipper didn’t know what he was capable of.

He dials the number for his Grunkles, listens to it ring once, then hangs up. He can’t bother them at this time of night. Besides, they’re getting older. How could they launch an all-out war again?

But if Bill’s back, they deserve to know so they can protect themselves. 

He dials the number again. Hangs up. Just because poor little Dipper had a nightmare doesn’t mean that everyone needs to lose sleep over it. He still remembers entering Stan’s mind. “That’s why I’m hard on Dipper. To toughen him up. So that when the world fights, he fights back.”

Dipper can’t let them down.

He lies down again and tries to get in a few more hours of sleep.


	5. Let's Make a Deal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update after four months??? I know, I know, I have nothing to say for myself. But I was really questioning what direction I wanted to go with this fic and I fell out of the Gravity Falls fandom for a while. I'm sorry this is short, but it was a good chapter break and I think I can do better about updating in the future.
> 
> No editing, we die like men, so if you see any mistakes, keep it to yourself.

The next morning, he’s chugging bitter coffee from the school cafeteria to stay awake. Bill will not ruin this for him. His family believes in him. He paid his tuition, he moved out, he’s going to ace his classes and no stupid doritos will stand in his way. 

He stays awake in math, taking notes and trying to remember all his high school presentations on parabolas. In his Intro to Biology, he catches a glimpse of yellow eyes, the girl two rows back, just staring at him. He lifts his chin, takes another bite of his bagel, and goes to back to sketching DNA sequences.

He’s Dipper-fucking-Pines. That alone should be enough to scare any inter-dimensional dream demons.

At lunch, Milo gives him a nod and Dipper waves back. He’s not sure where they stand, and Dipper’s definitely over his head here with the whole demon thing, but it still might be nice to have friends.

After his classes are done for the day, Dipper gets on his laptop and starts researching. He basically memorized Ford’s journals and scoured the Internet years ago but it couldn’t hurt to check for anything else. He googles “dream demon”, “triangle demon”, and basically any other search term he can imagine. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise Dipper if Bill can erase any information about himself from computers.

Fine, then. He’ll just wait for Bill to show himself and have words with him then.

After two hours of Netflix and chowing down on caramel popcorn that Mabel slipped into his suitcase when he wasn’t looking (he has got to remember to get her a nice Christmas present), Dipper crashes into bed in his boxers. A cold wave of fear still clenches at his stomach, the part of him that’s still twelve and powerless, but he squashes it down. That was the past. Bill answers to him now.

He wakes up in the forest and the panic hits him first, heart bursting, legs aching to run. Dipper takes a breath deep enough to expand his whole chest and grounds himself. This is his dream; he gets to call the shots. He waits.

Bill crashes through the trees with all the grace of a bulldozer. “Pine Tree!” He sounds delighted.

Dipper crosses his arms. “We need to talk, Bill.”

Bill conjures himself an armchair and a cup of tie. He straightens his bowtie and takes a long slurp. “I’m all ears.” And for emphasis, he turns his eye into an ear for a brief moment.

Dipper winces and then squares his shoulders. “Look, you’re back for real, aren’t you? Erasing Stan’s mind wasn’t enough to get rid of you for good, right?”

“Give the boy a prize!” Bill takes another sip.

Dipper fights down a wave of rage, remembering Mabel’s tears, the nights he’d find Stan and Ford asleep on the couch, scrapbooks strewn around them, the way Stan has episodes of forgetting that Ford was back and they’d find him in the basement, panicked about his lost brother. So that was all for nothing, apparently.

Dipper reminds himself his anger will only provoke Bill. Focus and never show weakness.

“Excellent,” he says breezily. “It’s been so boring without you. I’m stuck with Miss Sunshine and Old Geezer 1 and 2.”

Bill narrows his eye, teacup disappearing. “Why, Pine Tree, how disloyal of you. What kind of game is this?”

Dipper holds up his hands innocently. “No games. Look, let me guess. You’re still weak. You can only appear in my dreams and appearing in reality is a joke.”

Bill rolls his eye. “How dismissive. I’ve been managing to scare you enough lately. I still have some self-respect.”

Dipper groans inwardly. “Right, of course. Look, wouldn’t you like to appear in my waking moments and not just these nighttime escapades, delightful as they are?”

“But, Pine Tree, that would involve a deal,” Bill purrs. “What would you want out of it?”

Dipper: 1, Predictable, Obsessive Demon: 0. 

“You promise to leave my family alone. No sentimental reasons on my end, of course. I’m just not keen on sharing you, to tell the truth.” Dipper hears the seductive tone in his voice and inwardly questions every single one of his life choices.

Bill actually looks shocked for an instant before he wipes his expression back to smug. “Deal.” He extends a hand and Dipper swallows down his hesitation and takes it.

Dipper wakes up to the beep of his alarm. For once, he’s not terrified. In fact, he’s almost… excited. Bill’s not going to know what hit him.


End file.
